


To Make You Feel My Love

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Drama, First Time, M/M, Romance, hurt-comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-20
Updated: 2003-11-20
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:02:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How far would you go? How much could you take? Lex finds out what he's capable of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Make You Feel My Love

## To Make You Feel My Love

by Lady Krystal

[]()

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE: I love feedback, good or critical, but please don't be too cruel! The song is "To Make You Feel My Love" by Billy Joel. 

To Make You Feel My Love 

*"When the rain is blowing in your face* _And the whole world is on your case_  
 _I could offer you a warm embrace_   
_To make you feel my love"_

The wind was blowing a gale outside, whistling through cracks that no man, no matter how dedicated, could find. The sound was so much a part of the castle that I didn't even hear it anymore, not really. The harsh sound of rain being driven full force against the stained glass windows, however, was proving to be distracting. Or maybe I was just annoyed that, because of the rain, Clark wouldn't be able to deliver the produce today. Giving up on the pretence of working, I got up to stalk around the room. Nothing I saw interested me. I moved on to the games room. Books, swords, pool table. The books I had read, or had no interest in reading. As for the other two, well, they required human interaction, didn't they? 

Brooding, I left the room, but stopped moving when I heard the bang of the kitchen door and the unmistakable voice of Clark Kent calling my name. My first reaction was unmitigated joy, and then I remembered the storm raging outside and was furious. I came down the stairs like my own personal thundercloud. 

His hair was plastered to his head, and he was soaked through to the skin. It reminded me instantly of the day we met. The first time I opened my eyes on a cold riverbank and saw Clark, he had looked just like this, minus the huge, joyous grin now on his face. That day he had been concerned, and a little bit shocky. Today, apparently all things were right with the Kent world. 

"Hey Lex. Great weather we're having, huh?" His grin widened, inviting me to share in the joke. I was too busy working on being calm. 

"Mmmm. What, exactly, are you doing out in this storm, Clark?" Good, low, only slightly menacing. 

He frowned as if this was a trick question. "I'm, ahh, delivering produce?" 

"Yes, I can see that. Why are you delivering produce in this storm?" Still very controlled, I have a handle on this, no worries. 

"Because people still need to eat no matter what the weather?" This sounded vaguely like something his father might have said, but I'm sure Jonathon Kent would never have let his son out in weather this wild. 

"Nice try, Clark. Where are your parents?" 

"Out of town for the weekend." It was his first definite sentence. "In Metropolis." He clarified. Then, like a mutinous child, he lifted his chin and said, "I was bored, okay? There isn't a whole lot to do on a farm in the rain. Not fun stuff, anyway. I'll go if you're busy." This last he said very contritely. My anger disappeared with the same speed my heart melted. 

"I'm never too busy for you Clark, I've told you that. I just don't like you taking chances like driving through a storm because you're bored, okay? What if you'd crashed? What if something happened to you? Who'd deliver my produce then?" Don't overdo the mother hen bit, Lex. He's a sixteen-year-old boy. Rebellion is their stock in trade. I should know. 

Clark smiled, and I know it's a clich, but it was like the sun had come out. "You were worried about me? I'm okay, Lex. I know how to drive. And I might point out that it wasn't me who ran my car off a bridge, was it?" 

"Run a car off a bridge once..." I murmured, and he laughed. It's nice to have someone who understands my humour. I smiled back. "Come on then, since you're here. We'll play pool and you can tell me what's going on in your life." 

He mumbled something along the lines of 'nothing good'. Well, well. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe not all _was_ well with the Kent world. I led the way back up to the games room and started racking up the balls. Clark stood at the other end of the table chalking his cue like his life depended on covering every square millimetre. I could see he was working himself up to asking me something, so I stayed silent, slowly putting every ball into place, waiting. 

"Lex?" He hesitated, and I looked up. There was distress in his so-expressive eyes, and his words came out in a rush. "Why doesn't anyone like me?" Something fierce clenched around my heart. Who could have made Clark feel this way? I wanted to kill them. "I like you, Clark. And Chloe. And Pete. And Lana. What makes you think no one likes you?" 

"Lana only like me sometimes, when there's no one else around. And Pete, well yeah, he likes me, but its superficial, like if I did anything wrong, he'd turn away. Chloe doesn't like me so much now that she knows we can only be friends. I don't blame her. It must hurt to be around someone you really like who won't ever feel the same." If only he knew. Clark Kent, heart breaker. "And you. Well, I know you like me, but I think you also feel like you owe me, so you put up with me hanging around. Like now. I'm sure you have business stuff you should be doing, but you're here instead, playing pool with me. And you're so much smarter than anyone I know, and you've done so much stuff. You must think I'm some dumb, country hick kid." 

"Oh Clark." I sighed. Could he really have no idea about his own appeal? Apparently so. "You're right, I should be doing business stuff, but I wasn't getting anything done before you came. I was wandering around aimlessly, looking for something to do, and wishing you were here. I was, to put it bluntly, brooding because I didn't think you'd be coming by today. I enjoy your company, Clark, and not out of some misplaced sense of gratitude for saving my life. I think you're smarter than you let on, and I don't think you're dumb at all. Foolish, certainly, but not dumb. As for the things I've done, its best if you never do most of those things." I could see he wanted to believe me, but something was stopping him. "As for Chloe, you may be right. Pete, I think you're underestimating him. And Lana Lang? I personally think you're better off without her. But you and I, Clark, never dismiss what we have, or think of it as something less than true friendship." 

"The stuff of legends?" He asked, smiling. 

"The stuff of legends." I replied, solemn. His eyes were suspiciously glittery, as if overly moist. If he cried, there was no way I could hold back from giving him the embrace I wanted to. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him he was safe, that I would protect him from everyone and anything that would hurt him, the whole world if I had to. Instead, I forced myself to smile, nodded towards the balls racked on the green felt tabletop, and ask, "You want to break, or should I?" 

I was rewarded with gentle laughter. "I'll break." He replied. The symbolism was not lost on me. How long before the beautiful boy in front of me was broken for good? 

*"When the evening shadows and stars appear* _And there is no one there to dry your tears_ _I could hold you for a million years_ _To make you feel my love"_

I looked out the window. It was turning from dusk outside to darkness. I'd sent Clark home when the storm finished, in case his parents called to find out how he was. From the guilty look on his face, I knew they would be doing exactly that. All was quiet now, in the aftermath of the storm. As if all the creatures were exhausted from battling the elements. Even the night birds were silent, and the chirping of crickets and other assorted bugs were in marked abeyance. It was creepy. 

I thought again about the conversation Clark and I had had that afternoon. It made me furious every time, thinking of the look in Clark's eyes. He was such a sensitive boy. So generous and loving in spirit. He wouldn't understand people who could give less than 100% of themselves, people who could lie to your face and pretend they cared. He wouldn't understand the kind of cruelty that I myself was capable of, so I tried to shield him from it. Others, obviously, weren't so careful. I thought of him all alone in that farmhouse tonight, with all his insecurities, and before I knew what I was doing I found myself in the garage. 

Contrary to popular opinion, I was not always to be seen in a fancy car completely unsuitable for Kansas farm country. I grabbed the keys for a very solid, reliable humvee. The road to the Kent farm would be questionable after the storm, muddy and pot-holed, and I didn't feel like risking my neck tonight. So I started out in the humvee. Only meters from the Kent's first gate, it coughed, then spluttered, then died. Out of petrol. I couldn't believe it. I usually checked these things as a matter of course as soon as I got in. In my thoughtful state tonight, I had forgotten all about it. I looked at the dark house down the road, then to the one lit window in the barn. Clark was in his "Fortress of Solitude". And wasn't that why I had come in the first place? Because I knew he would be all alone? So I got out and headed for the light. Enrique would cry when he saw the mud-clogged mess my shoes had instantly become. 

Upon reaching the barn, I listened for signs of Clark. For such a big person, he was amazingly quiet. So I listened harder, and then I heard it. A soft snuffle that could only be Clark Kent trying, even in his own privacy, not to cry. I hesitated. I was weak around Clark, especially a Clark that needed me. Another stifled sob propelled me forward. I crept up the steps, managing to avoid the creaks, and looked into Clark's fortress. 

He was sitting there, on the old battered sofa, his knees bent up to his shoulders and his arms wrapped around them. His head rested against his knees and his whole body shook. Never had I seen such a picture of abject misery. I came up the last of the stairs without a sound, or so I thought. Suddenly Clark's head flew up, and I saw his face. This time his eyes were unmistakably wet, shining green and wide enough to make you want to cry yourself. The long black lashes also glittered with the tears that had stuck to them. 

"Lex!" He jumped up and swiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "I, uh..." 

Embarrassment turned to confusion, silencing him, when I didn't say a word, just walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He was a good three inches taller than me, and it was a strange sensation, trying to comfort someone who was much bigger and bulkier than I was. I just held on until I felt him shudder and lean into me, wrapping his arms about my shoulders. I could have stayed like that forever. He felt so good in my arms. I tightened my embrace. His breath came out shaky, and his voice trembled. 

"Lex. God, Lex, I felt so alone. And I thought, 'I'm going to always be alone. I'm always going to feel like this.' And I couldn't face it. I want someone to love me, no, someone to _be in_ love with me." He was still shaking. 

Foolishly, I told him the one thing I never should have told anyone. "I love you, Clark. I'm _in_ love with you. I have been since the day we met." He stilled in my arms. 

*"I know you haven't made your mind up yet* _But I would never do you wrong_  
 _I've known it from the moment that we met_ _No doubt in my mind where you belong"_

It was one week ago that I told Clark I loved him. He stood there, not moving, not speaking. I was actually quite grateful for the silence. At least he hadn't pushed me away and started stammering how he wasn't like that, that he wasn't... _gay_. I think he was actually considering how my declaration made him feel. Wonder of wonders, I don't think he dismissed the idea out of hand. He was, however, confused. One didn't usually declare one's love to his best friend out of the blue. Certainly not to his best _male_ friend. Clark had been stunned. So much so that it was actually me who stepped away first. I told him I'd just borrow some petrol and be on my way. Then left. It wasn't cowardly. Really. I was just giving him space to work things out on his own. He had to make his own mind up. Apparently he was still thinking. Or had decided and was afraid to come over and tell me. A week. A week is a long time to live in limbo. 

He would be right to fear me, I suppose. After all, weren't people constantly telling him what an evil person I was? That I would lead him astray, get him hurt, get him killed? That I wasn't to be trusted? That I would betray him? Surely he couldn't hear all that and ignore it all. Somewhere he had to have his doubts about me. But for once they were all wrong. Clark Kent was the one person in this world who had nothing to fear from me. I could never hurt him. To hurt him would be to hurt myself, for I had found that my feelings and emotions were inextricably bound up with his. 

When I think back to the day I met Clark I'm sure of several things. One, I hit that boy with my car. Two, I flew over Smallville before my saviour dragged me back. Three, when Clark breathed air into my lungs, he blew life into my heart as well. 

When I opened my eyes and looked up into the brilliant green above me, I knew I was lost. Then he sat back, looking all dazed, and I asked him if he was okay. He said yes and collapsed. As amusing as I found it, I'd felt tenderness swamp me, and I had gently brushed his damp hair from his face. Before anyone came along and disturbed us, I had a chance to take a good long look at Clark Kent. He was tall and solid, all sleek muscle under his smooth, tanned skin. He had cheekbones a model would kill for, and full lips that sent my imagination spinning. His lashes and hair were pure ebony, silky and wavy and made to be touched, never tamed. His eyes had flickered open, revealing that amazing green once again, and he had tried to sit up. I put a hand on his chest to keep him down, afraid he had suffered more injury than he was letting on. I could feel the hard, fast beat of his heart, and my own had kicked up in response. Then his father had come, practically radiating hostility and warning, and Clark had walked away. I had felt bereft, and suddenly alone. That was when I had known I was in seriously deep trouble. 

Now I'm waiting to find out if he feels it too, and it's killing me by degrees. I had to get out of the house, away from my own thoughts, so I drove into town. I pulled up across the road from the Talon, thinking how foolish I had been to buy into it just because Lana Lang's happiness was important to Clark. Still, it was operating in the black, and there were always crowds of teens after school, their parents during the day and night. Maybe my father was wrong. Maybe you could allow your heart to rule your head sometimes in business. Look how well this had worked out. 

Interrupting my mellow, self-satisfied mood, Clark and Chloe came out of the Talon. The sight of Clark had me remembering the feel of him in my arms, and returned me to my former mood of doubt and anxiety. I watched him for a moment, debating whether to call out or not, and then Chloe spun around and threw her arms around his neck. I was prepared to take this as friendly affection, was even glad that he had patched things up with her, but Clark half picked her up and lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was clumsy, and everything you would expect from a couple of teenagers. Pain lanced through me like a knife, a knife heated to a glowing burn, leaving me seared. I felt unaccountably betrayed, since Clark had never made any promises to me. Still, I knew he and I belonged together. Obviously he couldn't accept it. He had made his decision and, like all of the other people in my life whom I could have cared about, he didn't want my love. 

*"I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue* _I'd go crawling down the avenue_  
 _There's nothing that I wouldn't do_   
_To make you feel my love"_

Three weeks ago I had driven away from Smallville. Without a backwards glance I had sped out of town like a flock of avenging valkyries were swooping after me. I'd returned to Metropolis, to a city where I belonged, and ruled the dregs of society like a king. If Clark didn't want me, then what purpose did I have in life? None, I decided, except the pursuit of my own pleasure. 

The old ways came back to me with surprising swiftness. Most of my old contacts were still alive and keeping one step ahead of the law. I survived on a diet of drugs of all kinds, alcohol, and sexual adrenaline. I never noticed it, but I was getting thinner and leaner, and taking more and more chances. I didn't care what partner took me to their bed, male or female, and I didn't care what they did to me, or made me do. 

Finally, of course, it all went too far. I picked up, an easy enough task, in one of the many nightclubs that were starting to blur in my drugged mind. It was a man, a big man with lots of muscle and a handsome enough face. He looked dangerous, which was exactly what I wanted. We went to his place, as I was avoiding the penthouse at any cost. There were other men there, all bigger than me, and somewhere in my head the last remnant of my self-preservation flared to life long enough to tell me that this didn't look good. Another part of me, a part that remembered what I was trying to forget, told me this was it, this was what I had been waiting for, this was a chance to end it all. So I stayed, without a qualm, obedient as a puppy as I followed the man to my impending doom. 

It started out innocent enough, although perhaps innocent isn't the right word. They blindfolded me, and I found the heightened awareness due to lack of sight exhilarating. All I could do was feel, smell, hear and taste. The men all had a subtly different scent, something I had learned to pick up on long ago. They all tasted different, beneath the heavy flavour of some dark ale. Their voices blended together around me, as though they were circling me, each voice was low and gritty and speaking things obscene. The _feel_ of them was perhaps the greatest distinction of all, as each had their own particular way of touching me. Some barely touched me with more than their lips, others crushed me in their grasp, others still gripped me in a way designed to bruise and mark me. I didn't care about the pain, as it was all pleasure to me. 

Then the real games began. I don't know what they used to hit me, cut me, or prick me. I don't know, how many of them used me at once. At one stage I think there were at least four; one thrusting into me from behind, one rubbing obscenely against my front, one half gagging me as he forced himself deep into my throat, and one that was using my hands. All I know was it was constant, and had it been anyone but me, they probably would have died. 

They played music in the background, all heavy driving beats with fast, loud guitar and screaming lyrics. I think it drove them on. To me, the sounds were all blurring, making my head want to explode. The last thing I remember hearing before I passed out was Bono pleading, *'Hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me...'* Yes, I thought, that was a fitting sentiment. Then the world became black. 

I woke up, if that is the correct term, in the gutter two blocks from the club where I'd been picked up. I started to laugh, except it hurt, so I stopped. The irony of the situation was not lost on me even in that state. I had gotten myself into a situation where my excess would kill me, and then lived through it. Fine. If I was to live, then I would live. I tried to stand up, and immediately realised that that was not going to happen. So I started to crawl, dragging myself down the street towards the upmarket nightclub where my car was parked. It was slow going, and I'm not sure how long it took me to move the one block I managed before collapsing again. 

This time, as I came to, I heard the sound of shoes slapping the pavement. Running shoes. Heavy steps. Must be a big person. Then I was looking up at a hallucination. It wasn't the first time I'd seen this particular hallucination. It was Clark, looking down on me as he had that day on the riverbank, concern and a touch of panic in his eyes. That was how I knew it wasn't real. The real Clark didn't care about me. 

"Lex! Are you hurt bad? Who did this to you?" 

"Oh Clark, come on now. Let's not play games. You did this to me. At least, the real you did this to me. The real you didn't want my love. Just like no one else has ever wanted it either. So I'm going to stop offering it. I'm going to go out and have fun. Even if it kills me." I smiled, a dreamy smile. "Yes, _especially_ if it kills me." 

"God, Lex, please, don't talk like that. I do love you, but you disappeared before I had a chance to tell you." The hallucination was crying, big fat tears rolling down its cheeks. It bent to pick me up. It was nice being cradled close like that, even if it was only in my own imagination. 

"You don't know what love is, Clark. I'd die for you. So leave me be. Don't haunt me anymore. I left so you could get on with your life. Leave me so I can end mine." I sounded like I didn't care. My mind was floating somewhere separate to my body. My mouth was working without being attached to my brain. 

"No, Lex. I do love you. I'll prove it to you once you're well. Mum will know what to do for you. Just stay with me, Lex." Stay with him? That's all I'd ever wanted to do, but it wasn't my choice to make. Suddenly, the world turned blurry around me. I closed my eyes and the blackness took me again. 

*"There's times I'm raging on a rolling sea* _And on the highway of regret_  
 _And winds of change are blowing wild and free_ _You ain't seen nothing like me yet"_

I did not feel well. Every time I opened my eyes, the homey little room I was in started doing 360-degree turns around me. My stomach would then spin in sympathy and I would have to slam my eyes shut to make it all stop. I didn't know where I was, or what was happening to me, or why. I remembered talking to my imaginary Clark, but I didn't remember anything more until this weird spinning room. Frankly, it was making me angry. 

So I felt my way to the edge of the bed, sat up, ignored my already spinning head, and opened my eyes. The room started doing its tumble dryer impersonation again, but fuelled by my rage, I pushed myself up into a standing position. I even took several steps towards the door, or what I think was a door, it's hard to tell when it won't stay still. Then my body said enough was enough and toppled towards the floor. I didn't even feel the thud as I landed. 

The next time I awoke, I did not open my eyes. I slowly drifted into awareness, and gradually made out the sounds of voices. As it became clearer, I identified two voices. One male, one female. I concentrated on making out what they were saying. 

"He was pretty drugged up, Clark. They're probably not all out of his system yet, but he's a fighter. He's getting there. I'm not sure if the other things that happened to him were by his choice or not, but he'll be okay, physically. I'd love to know who hurt him. I'd love to get my hands on them." This was the woman's voice, soothing despite the anger present. 

"He said _I_ did this to him and, Mum, he wasn't really wrong. I...I hurt him somehow. He was trying to get himself killed. He said to leave him alone so he could end his life." There were tears just below the surface of the voice, and for some reason it made my heart ache. 

"I don't know what to tell you, son. Lex is...well, he's complicated. People misunderstand him, and he lets them, but under it all is a hurt young man with no one to turn to." Everything clicked, and I knew who was speaking. Martha Kent. And Clark. He'd found me, really found me, and brought me home. It was _his_ room I was in, and his mother was taking care of me. 

"Yes, I'm afraid even I refused to see past the spoiled little rich kid he wanted us all to see. I'm sorry I failed to recognise sooner that he was self-destructing." A third voice, silent until now, and I was mortified. For this voice belonged to Jonathon Kent. I was weak and sick in front of Jonathon Kent. I had to get out of there. 

Surreptitiously, or so I thought, I started moving towards the edge of the bed once more. Strong, but small gentle hands grabbed me by the shoulders and held me still. "No Lex. Stay still. You're safe with us here. It's okay now." Okay? How was this okay? I dared to open my eyes, just a fraction. When the room didn't spin, I opened them a little bit more, until finally I could see the three concerned faces above me. "Welcome back, Lex." Martha smiled, gently sarcastic. "You gave us a bit of a scare when Clark brought you in like that. How are you feeling?" 

The first few words that came to mind would have her washing my mouth out, so I tried something else. "Fine. I'm okay." 

"You usually lie with more elegance than that, Lex, and never to me, so let's try that again, shall we?" 

I was seriously regretting what I had done now. What had I been _thinking_? _Of course_ I would be found. _Of course_ the Kents, whose opinion meant more to me than anything, would find out the terrible things I had allowed to happen to me. So it was with shame that I told her the truth. "I feel like I've been beaten to a pulp. And I'm aching in more places than I knew I had. And my stomach feels raw. And I think a newborn babe could knock me over." 

"Oh, Lex, sweetheart. I'm sorry. Of course you feel miserable." It's hard to feel miserable when Martha Kent calls you 'sweetheart', but right about now I wanted to curl up on that bed and cry. Martha, naturally, seemed to know. "Okay boys, out you go. I have a patient to care for and you're keeping him awake." It never ceases to amaze me how such a small woman could command such two large men. They left without complaint, although Clark did turn back to look at me. He gave me one of his widest grins to reassure me, then disappeared through the door. Martha sat beside me on the bed and brushed her fingers down my cheek. "Lex? Do you remember what happened to you?" 

So help me, there was nothing wrong with my memory. "Yes." 

"Clark thinks it was a mistake, that you would never have agreed to anything like that, but we know better, don't we?" There was no censor in her voice, so I could answer her truthfully. 

"Yes, we do." I didn't elaborate. People often forgot Martha came from my world before she became the epitome of Smallville motherhood. She knew what I had done, and what I had been trying to do. 

"Oh, Lex." This time it was a sigh. "What did he do that cut you so deep?" 

"He..." Was there no way to say this without sounding ridiculous? No, so I went with the simplest answer. "He rejected me." 

She looked at me consideringly, then picked up my hand. "Why don't I think you're talking about simple friendship?" 

"Because I'm not." I looked away, but she didn't release my hand. "He was upset, and crying. He was afraid no one would ever be in love with him." 

"And you said more than you had intended to. You told him you were in love with him. Lex, I'm so sorry." 

The sympathy in her voice was almost more than I could bear, but the lack of horror had me turning to look at her once again. She didn't seem in the least bit angry that I was after her son. "What are you sorry about? Shouldn't you be trying to kill me about now?" 

"Still trying to get yourself killed, Lex?" She squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry Clark hurt you. I'm sorry I never prepared him to handle such a situation better. And how can I hate you for loving Clark? He has a way about him, and it takes control over your heart. You're no more immune than the rest of us, Lex." 

"How could you prepare him? You could hardly say 'Oh, and by the way Clark, if your best friend should ever tell you he loves you, try to let him down gently'." 

"Lex, I've known for some time how you felt about him. You do a remarkable job of hiding it, because Jonathon has no suspicions, but I'm a mother, I look for, and see, things other people wouldn't. I was born and raised in Metropolis, Lex. The idea of my son loving another man isn't as shocking to me as you might think." 

I was speechless. Truly speechless. What could I say? Martha Kent has just practically given me permission to court her son. What had happened while I was gone? Had the whole town been infected by some meteorite madness? The winds of change had definitely blown through Smallville, and what they had left behind was not a bad thing. The amazing possibilities were just beginning to dawn on me when a sharp, sudden pain in my side made me gasp and almost double over. Martha pushed me back and held me down as the pain rode over me. 

"It's your ribs. I don't think they're broken, but they are damaged. I'll get you something to stop the pain." She went to get up and leave, but I grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. 

" _No_! No more drugs. My body heals at an accelerated rate. An after-effect from the meteorite landing, I think. Just stay with me until the pain passes. Please?" I could get through this with her by my side. I didn't want Clark to see me drugged again. I was beginning to think straight again, and all the wonderful potentialities were leaking into my mind. All the things Clark and I could do together, be together. I wanted to let out a laugh, but knew it would sound too maniacal. For the world didn't know what was about to hit it. They'd never seen a Luthor truly in love. 

*"I could make you happy, make your dreams come true* _There's nothing that I would not do_  
 _Go to the ends of the Earth for you_   
_To make yo feel my love"_

When I saw Lex crawling along the street, I had wanted to go to him, but had held back. Then he collapsed and I knew I couldn't stand by and watch him anymore. I'd been following him for a few days, and had been shocked by what I saw. Suddenly the Lex everyone back home whispered about and speculated about was brought to life in front of me. Still, I couldn't leave him totally alone. And just as well. As I reached him, he came to, and spoke to me like I was only some spectre from his past. To hear him speak that way, to know what he was trying to do, hurt me like I hadn't imagined it was possible to do. He thought I didn't love him. He was doing these terrible things to himself because he didn't think it mattered to anyone in the whole world what happened to him. I couldn't even imagine such despair. 

So I picked him up and ran home faster than I had ever run before. Mum and Dad had freaked when I brought him through the door. When Mum checked his pulse I realised they thought he might have been dead. I told them all the things I had seen, the terrible things that had happened to him. They had looked at each other, understanding something I didn't. I didn't care, my main concern was lying limp in my arms. We took him up to my bedroom, and Mum set about cleaning him up. After a while she came down and reported that the worst damage was to his ribs. We were arguing about getting him to a doctor when we heard the thump from upstairs. Lex, stubborn as ever, had been trying to leave, and had collapsed for his effort. 

Now I stood outside the door, chased out by Mum, but listening. What they spoke about surprised me. Lex had deliberately let those things happen to him. All of them. And Mum had known Lex loved me all along! Chloe had told me it was obvious too, but I hadn't believed her. Now I had to wonder, was I the _only_ one who hadn't seen the depth of Lex's feelings? Me, the object of them? I continued to stand outside the door, and Lex continued to talk to my mother. He was telling her all sorts of things, things he wouldn't have told anyone else. Hearing the pain underneath the steady flow of words, I understood what he was trying to do. People never saw how strong Lex really was, but I thought I had known. I had never known anyone who could combat pain the way he was. His monologue went on and on until, abruptly, there was silence. 

I stuck my head around the door. Mum was sitting on the side of the bed, her face in her hands, sobbing. I went in and looked down at her. She looked up, stood in a rush, and then threw her arms around me, crying into my chest. "Clark. _Oh God, Clark_." For a moment I was afraid he had died, but I could see his chest rising and falling. In fact, he seemed quite peaceful. I was about to ask her what was wrong when she continued, "He's been hurt so much he expects it from everyone now. He's so afraid, but never shows any insecurity at all. His father has told him all his life how useless he is, and he's tried to prove him wrong, but deep down, he thinks he's worthless. How can one boy take so much?" 

"It's okay, Mum. He has me now." She looked up at me, searching my face. 

"Clark. I know you want to help Lex, but if you don't love him, don't lead him on." Her concern, I was pleased to note, was all for Lex. He had us both now. 

"Mum, I do love Lex. I didn't reject him, I was just trying to sort things out in my own mind. I had to talk to someone about it, so I asked Chloe what she thought. She said it had been so obvious she thought that was why I never thought of her as more than a friend. As soon as she said that, I knew she was right. The reason nothing ever worked out with her, or Lana, was because half the time I was with them I was thinking about Lex. What would _Lex_ say? What would _Lex_ do? How would _Lex_ handle this situation? And I tried to be Lex, but I can't be. No one can. Lex is unique. And I didn't just admire him, or like him like a friend. I was attracted to him." I ducked my head in embarrassment, but Mum just lifted my chin with a finger. I went on. "Maybe it took me a little while to work it out, but I do love him." 

"Then Clark, tell him. When he wakes up, be here waiting for him, and tell him how you feel. Under that steely exterior lays a romantic's heart." Mum left then, leaving me with Lex. 

It was some time before he opened his eyes again. The sharp grey-blue eyes that reminded me of the sea after a storm focused almost instantly on me. He blinked once - I think he had been expecting my mother rather than me - then smiled hesitantly. "Clark?" 

"Hi Lex." Now that he was awake, I wasn't sure what to say to him. "Feeling better?" 

He shrugged, as if the hours past were of no consequence. "Sure." 

"Good." We were reduced to one-syllable words. Not good. Was he uncomfortable with me knowing what had happened to him in Metropolis? "Listen, Lex, about what happened..." 

"It's alright Clark. I'm alright. I knew what I was doing. You're not responsible. I was half out of it when I said those things. Once I'm able to, I'll leave, and you and Chloe won't need to worry about me, ok?" He sounded so distant, and I knew he was breaking inside. 

"Chloe? What are you talking about?" 

"I saw you, Clark. You and Chloe. Kissing outside the Talon. It's okay. It was your choice, Clark. It was always your choice." Oh. My. God. 

"Lex, is that what sent you roaring out of town? That's why you went to Metropolis without telling me?" That was why he had almost killed himself? 

"What can I say? I'm a spoiled brat and don't take rejection well." Now he was going for blas. Well he was in for a surprise. 

"That was Chloe saying goodbye, Lex. I told her about you, and she told me I was a fool for not letting you take me on the barn floor that night. I went to the castle to tell you, but you weren't there. By the time I tracked you down in Metropolis you were already well and truly on the path to destruction, but when you got hurt I couldn't just stand by any more. I was so scared you would never forgive me for letting that happen to you, but you've already shown me that you love me enough to let me go, if that's what I want. But it's not what I want, Lex." 

"What do you want?" His voice was low, and a little hoarse. Deep, the way it gets deep when he's aroused by something. 

Instead of answering, I posed my own question. "What do _you_ want, Lex? Tell me." 

He closed his eyes; as if that was the only defence he had left to him. Then they opened, and I was caught. They were bottomless, and clear, and for the first time I understood the power of Lex Luthor's full regard. "What do I want? In my dreams, Clark, you ask me that very question, and when I tell you, you say 'Yes, Lex. All of that.' So I'll tell you what I want, Clark. I want you, down on your knees, with my cock thrusting deep down your throat. I want you bent over my pool table, screaming as you come with me riding you hard and fast. I want you up against a wall, in the pool, in my bed, everywhere. And I want you in me, stretching me, filling me, tearing my screams from my throat as you overwhelm me with your strength. I want you in every way conceivable, Clark, and some ways you would never dream existed. But do you know what I want most of all? I want your goodness, your tenderness, your love. I want you to destroy who I am and remake me whole. That's what I want." 

I was shaking by the time he finished. The pictures in my head, conjured by his words, were hot and wild and arousing as all hell. I was shaking from desire, and something more. I was humbled by him, by the depth of his feelings. How had he hidden it so well? How did he go on pretending to be nothing more than my friend with all that emotion inside of him? So I finally gave him what he deserved. "*Oh God. Yes, Lex*. All of it. And more." The look on his face was heartwrenching, a moment of exultation almost immediately squashed by doubt. I went on. "I want everything you just said, and I want long nights with you in my arms, days filled with your rare smiles and sarcasm. But I don't want to destroy you, for what you are is what I love, Lex. I love _you_ Lex. Everything about you." To prove it, I sat down beside him so swiftly he didn't have time to blink. Then I lowered my mouth to his and kissed him. Now, I have kissed the girls a few times, but kissing Lex was entirely different. I had no idea what I was doing, making it up as I went along, and for a moment Lex was shocked still beneath me. His brain, usually quicker than anyone else's I had ever known, finally caught up to what I was doing and he started kissing me back. That was when my education began. Lex was an experienced kisser and, oh my God, he was good at it. He took over almost immediately, and the trickery of those mobile lips left me breathless. When he pulled back, I sat up, panting, and saw the devilishly smug smile on his lips. Then he started to laugh, and I realised I had never heard him laugh so freely. It made me smile. 

"I love you Clark. Really love you. The way I never knew you could love someone. And, amazing as that is, you love me back." I'd never seen him so truly happy, and was dumbfounded that I had made him that way. I was also surprised at how easily he had given himself over to his emotions. Lex was naturally cautious, it was bred into him, a survival instinct, yet with me he had been open. 

I realised then how one-sided this was. I had seen the truth of the rumours about Lex. He had allowed me closer than anyone else, then risked himself for my happiness. He had, when asked, given me the truth of his feelings. Lex had never lied to me, and I lied to him every moment simply by being what I was. Before much longer, I would have to give him the truth. The whole truth. And trust him to remain true to me afterwards. 

I waited for Lex to heal. I didn't want him to have to deal with any revelations before he was up to his usual par. I wanted to know I was dealing with a Lex fully functioning, not one who forgave me in a moment of weakness only to regret it later when he was stronger. He was right about the accelerated healing. One good thing that came from the meteor crash, I suppose. Only a few days passed before Mum gave him a clean bill of health and let him prepare to return home to his castle. 

We were sitting outside on the porch, watching the sun go down, when I decided to tell him. Afraid, but certain it must be done, I started, "Lex, I have to tell you something..." 

"Don't, Clark. Whatever your secrets are, you don't have to tell me." He didn't look at me when he said it, he just continued to gaze out across the fields. How he had known what I was about to say I will never know, its just one of those things that Lex can do. He was trying so hard to show me that he loved me, but I knew it wasn't right to let him go into this blind-folded. 

"Lex, you have to know. You deserve to know, and I need to tell you." 

Again he didn't let me go any further. "Know what? Tell me what? That you're stronger than the average man? Faster? I know. I've always known. I hit you with my car, Clark, but you wanted to pretend otherwise, so I let you, but I knew. It doesn't matter. The meteor strike changed a lot of people. It took away the hair I hated and made me a healthy man. It made you a super man. What difference does it make?" 

He thought he knew, but he only knew some of it. Instead of giving him a chance to cut me off again, I blurted out the truth. "The meteor strike didn't change me, Lex. I was a part of it. I came crashing to earth in a ship surrounded by meteors. I'm not human, Lex." In the silence that followed I waited, my heart sinking with the surety that I had handled it all wrong and was going to lose Lex as a result. The last thing I expected from Lex at that moment was laughter. He sounded just a little bit crazed. 

"You're an alien?" He was still laughing. "Sure Clark. Where do you hide your antennas?" 

He thought I was _joking_? He thought this was all some elaborate hoax? Fine. I would show him. "Where's your inner scientist, Lex? Why is it so impossible to believe that life came to be in more places than one? Of all the planets in all the galaxies, why should Earth be the only one with life, Lex? And why should life elsewhere be different to life here?" I could see his brain kick into gear. It was always something amazing to behold, that enormous intellect working on a problem. I could see my words sinking in, and I could tell he was finally taking me seriously. "You're right. I _am_ stronger than a normal man. You _did_ hit me with your car. And when Whitney's car exploded, I was in the centre of the fireball. I've been shot. I've caught bullets in my hands. I've been thrown across rooms into walls. And that's not even all. I can get to your place faster than any of your fancy cars, even when _you_ drive them. I can see through anything, except lead. I can burn things by looking at them. And I..." Here I hesitated, but gave a mental shrug. I had come this far. "I sometimes float. I've not really got a handle on that one. It just kinda happens sometimes. I wake up floating above my bed." I stopped when he smirked. 

"Usually after you dream, right?" When I blushed, he laughed. Lowering his voice to a seductive murmur, he asked, "Did I ever make you float, Clark?" 

"When you made me float I usually needed to change the sheets." Even as I said it I could feel my face heating hotter. But the embarrassment was worth it to see the look in Lex's eyes. 

"So, is that all your abilities?" I thought he was rather too calm now, but didn't know what else to do, so I just nodded. He smiled, his wolf's smile. "Clark, I would like you to do something for me." 

"Anything, Lex." And I meant it. I trusted him not to ask me to do something abhorrent to me, so whatever it was he wanted me to do, I would do it. 

"Show me how fast and how far you can run." Was that all? I grinned crazily. I picked him up in my arms and he started to ask what I was doing, but he was silenced when the world blurred around us. I'm not sure exactly how long it took me, but it wasn't long before I stopped at the edge of the cliff. 

Lex looked around. "Where are we?" He started to shiver. I was immune to the temperature, but I knew it was cold. 

"Um...I think its called Barrow. We're definitely in Alaska, though." 

Lex just raised an eyebrow. So I picked him up again. This time he held on tight as I took off. When I stopped this time, we were overlooking a fjord. Lex stayed close for warmth. 

"Now where are we?" He sounded amused, but I couldn't be sure. 

"The bottom tip of South America. Chile." I knew my geography, at least. 

Lex started to laugh. It wasn't the hysterical kind of laughter I had feared, nor even the kind of laughter that said he thought I was a fool. No, this laughter was excited, as though his brilliant scientific mind had just discovered the answer to all his problems. I wasn't afraid of that laughter. I wasn't afraid he would try and use my gifts for evil, or selfish gain. I knew Lex too well for that, and he me. This was kid in a candy store happiness. Finally he looked at me, and his eyes shone in a way I had never seen. Happiness, excitement, freedom...and love. 

"Take me home Clark. Back to the castle." 

"Don't you want to come back to the farm?" I didn't want him to go back to that cold, grey stone. 

"We can go back after." 

"After what?" What on earth was he planning? 

"After I make you mine." His voice went low and husky. It twisted things inside of me when he spoke like that. 

"Oh." My mind had gone blank. 

*"There is nothing that I wouldn't do* _To make you feel my love"_

I think Clark might have actually flown on the way back to the castle. The dopey look on his face before he gathered enough of his wits to pick me up and run again had me grinning all the way. I had no doubt now that Clark wanted me. And I was slowly beginning to believe that he loved me. So I would show him the only way I knew how, that I loved him too, and accepted him for what he was. 

Clark put me down on my front doorstep. I raised an eyebrow. He had let himself into my home more times than I could recount, but this time he stops outside my door. He blushed, and shrugged, as if to say he wasn't sure what he was doing. I took pity on him. "We don't have to do this, Clark. We can go back now, if you want." 

" _NO_!" It was vehement enough to make me smile. 

"Then come on inside, Clark. You may be the fastest thing on two legs, but we'll take this nice and slow, okay?" I tried to keep my voice low and smooth, calming yet seductive. 

He nodded, relieved, and we went inside. The first thing I saw was a carpet of flowers. There were so many bouquets I couldn't count them all at first glance. "What on earth is going on here?" I murmured. 

"The townsfolk, sir. They wanted to give you their regards." Enrique was standing off to the side, hidden by the armful of flowers he was trying to find space for. "It seems, Master Lex, that you have found a place in their hearts." 

I snorted my disbelief when Clark spoke up. "He's right, Lex. When you first came, they were all a little wary of you, because of your Dad. But over time they've come to see that you're not like your father, and they can see the good things you do for everyone. They've kind of adopted you. At school the other day they asked if I'd found you in Metropolis. When I told them I had, and that you were hurt, they were all really concerned. A few even wanted to track down whoever hurt you and...well, you can imagine. And everyone at the plant were so relieved you were back." 

"Really?" I had never been accepted in my life, certainly never 'adopted'. The idea that the reserved people of Smallville could do so was mindblowing. 

"Sure, Lex. You've kinda become the town's favourite prodigal son." Clark grinned, knowing how uncomfortable this would make me. 

To get back at him, I decided to throw him off balance. "Enrique, Clark and I are going upstairs. Make sure no one, and I mean no one, sets foot on that level until we leave please." 

"Of course, Master Lex." I'm not sure, but I think I saw his lips twitch. If I didn't know better, I'd think he approved of what we were doing. 

As I led Clark up the staircase, he hissed, "Lex!" I just kept walking so he wouldn't see me smirking. "Lex, he _knows_!" 

"Enrique is aware of everything that goes on in this house whether I tell him or not. So I figured it was best that we didn't have anyone come barging in at an...inopportune moment." This happened to be true, but I had really only told him to disgruntle Clark. I've often been told I have an odd sense of humour. 

"I guess you're right." Clark agreed. We had reached my bedroom, and I had walked straight in. Clark was still standing by the door. 

"This isn't going to work with you standing out there. Or have you changed your mind? It's your choice, Clark, entirely up to you. I'll wait as long as you need until you're ready." It sounded pretty, but the truth was the words themselves were a seduction. I wasn't entirely above manipulating Clark any way I could to get him into my bedroom, and my bed. Still, I would never push him. 

"No, I'm ready, it's just..." He looked around the room, then back at me. His smile was self-deprecating. "It's a bit like entering the inner sanctum." 

My mind came up with several immediate responses to 'inner sanctum'. Most of them revolved around me being inside Clark's 'inner sanctum' if he would just get the hell in here. Wisely, I kept these ideas to myself and tried seeing my room through Clark's eyes. "I suppose it is a bit like that. Much of the castle is not me, not mine. This room is mine. This room is the one that will tell you the most about me, Lex. The rest is for people to see the other me, Luthor." 

Clark stepped through the door and came straight across the room to me. He cupped my face in his hands and looked deeply into my eyes. "I happen to like a lot of your castle. I think this will be my favourite room, though. I love all of you, Lex and Luthor, but it's the secret Lex that you only show me that I adore the most." 

" _God, Clark_..." I'm not sure what else I would have said for Clark leaned down and laid his lips upon mine. His words had touched me deeply. I had never been accepted for who I was, _all_ of who I was. Clark had given me the rarest gift of them all. Now it was my turn to give him something he'd never had. 

I took over the kiss, taking Clark where I wanted to go. His innocent fumblings were driving me crazy, but I needed him now. I didn't have time to wait for him to learn all the intricacies on his own. So I would teach him instead. And a quick learner he proved to be. He threw himself into the kiss with everything he had. So lost in it was he, in fact, that he didn't notice me backing him towards the bed. His knees had struck, and he had fallen, before he realised what I had done. I didn't give him much time to think about it. As soon as he was laid out flat, I was urging him further back, until his head lay upon my pillows. I crawled after him, finally straddling him across his broad chest. It was as well I was a tall man myself, or I never could have managed to get my legs either side of him. Looking down from my perch, I asked, "What do you want, Clark? What do you want to do?" 

He blushed bright red, and closed his eyes. He took a trembling breath. "I've never... I don't know... I thought you..." 

I got the message. "Okay, Clark. Well, is there anything you definitely don't want to do?" 

"No. I want to do everything with you, Lex. Whatever you want." He'd opened his eyes, and was looking up at me with the kind of trust I didn't deserve. Whatever I want. He didn't know what he was saying, the things I was capable of wanting. But that kind of trust makes a man noble. I wouldn't do anything to overly shock him. Not yet. 

"Okay. I want you to lay still. Put your hands up and grab hold of the bars of the headboard. It's wrought iron, but if you bend it, break it, whatever, I won't be angry, okay?" He nodded and did as he was told. "Now, I don't want you to do anything. Just lay there and let me do what I like. Do you think you can handle that?" Another nod, and I smiled, satisfied. 

I backed off him and took in the view of Clark Kent laid out before me like a virgin sacrifice. Even in clothes he was beautiful. Tall and broad and so obviously strong. The contrast of his gentle, kind nature only made him more desirable. That nature shone from his emerald eyes, even as the fear, excitement and longing threatened to swamp them. The bulge in his jeans was also obvious, and looked very uncomfortable. Mine sure as hell was. We couldn't have that, so I reached out and started to unbutton them. Clark made a sound, but stifled it. I continued as if I had not heard. The zip was next, and as I slowly slid it down, his erection swelled to fill the opening. My, my. This was going to be interesting. The jeans unzipped all the way, I reached up and grabbed the band, as well as the band of his underwear. I hesitated, looking up into Clark's face. "Are you sure, Clark? You can still say no." 

"I'm sure. _Please_ , Lex." I smiled at the plea in his voice, then started tugging the two garments down. I didn't look at him until I had removed them completely, then finally moved my gaze up to see him naked for the first time. My mouth went dry. He was large, as I had expected, and uncut, which I hadn't really thought about. He was beautiful. 

"Lex?" His voice and his eyes told me the same thing. He was embarrassed, and uncertain. I rushed to reassure him. 

"You're perfect, Clark. A dream come true." My voice had gone hoarse, reflecting my desire. The beaming smile I got in return was oddly arousing too. So, immediately I bent down, lapped out my tongue, swiping it across the broad head of his member. Clark made a sound. I think it was half surprise, half pleasure, and may have been my name. I looked him in the eye once more, smirked wickedly, then bent down and took him into my mouth. 

Clark's body arched up off the bed, but I was pleased to notice he didn't let go of the bedhead. As he thrust up into me, I swallowed, and he ended up in my throat. He groaned. I echoed the sound, then hummed lowly. The vibration made him impossibly thicken, and for an instant I feared I might choke, but the sensation was brief. I wanted to laugh when Clark found his voice again. 

" _Lex. Oh God, oh Lex. Please... I can't... I'm gonna'..._ " He sounded desperate. 

Ruthlessly, I used my teeth on him. He came with a scream, and I swallowed again and again, milking him for every last drop of pleasure. He tasted amazing as I drew my mouth slowly off him, licking him clean on the way. Clark whimpered. When I rose above him, I could see the sated sprawl of his body, and I wanted more. I wanted all. But I could wait. I had waited this long, after all. 

"Are you okay, Clark?" 

"Lex." It seemed that was the only word in his vocabulary. 

"I'll take that as a yes. Now roll over so I can show you more." 

He shook his head, and for one terrible moment I was afraid he had changed his mind. Then he opened his eyes. They were still stunned, and wide, and so very green. They told me he had no regrets. "I want to be able to watch you. See you when you..." 

He was so beautiful, laying there, waiting for me, begging me to make this more than just a coupling. I had to close my eyes for a moment, moved beyond words, feeling the emotions welling in them. When I opened them, he was watching me, waiting for me, in my wisdom, to say yes or no. "Yes, Clark. Okay. Usually it is better, less awkward, the other way for the first time, but since I can't really hurt you, we should be okay doing it your way." He smiled like I had granted him everything he had ever desired. Maybe, just maybe, I had. "Take off your shirt, Clark." 

He obeyed while I did the same myself. He lowered himself back down and watched, with just a hint of a smile, while I also removed my pants. His eyes widened very slightly when he realised I wore no underwear, but I just continued to undress until I stood before him naked. Now, I wasn't shy. It had never been in my nature to be so. Waiting for a reaction from Clark, though, wanted to make me squirm. It was worth waiting for. 

"Oh God, Lex. You're more amazing than I ever imagined. Please, Lex, let me touch you?" 

I gave us both a break, and nodded. I lowered myself over him, and he reached out, but then hesitated, unsure what exactly to do. "You can touch me anywhere, Clark, and any way you like. I'm not as delicate as a woman, and if you bruise me I'm just as likely to enjoy it as not." To show him the way of it, I leaned down and whispered my lips across his shoulders, then lower, to his collarbone, then lower still. I stayed poised above his nipples for a moment, simply allowing my breath to caress over them. When they puckered, I lowered my mouth and sucked hard at them. Clark mewled, but his hands came up and locked me to him. His grip was a little too hard, but I hadn't lied about enjoying his bruising me. To be marked by Clark, as though owned by him, excited me immeasurably. 

Almost immediately, though, he seemed to realise. His grip loosened, and he trailed one hand down my spine. I shuddered. The other hand followed, and I shuddered again. I have always been sensitive to touch, from the softest to the most cruel. Clark was playing me like a master. He brought his hands around to either side of my hips, and drew them up slowly, as if feeling every rib, then across to my nipples. He brushed over them gently, as if he had learned this was the best way to lead up to a firmer touch, then scraped across them with his nails. I couldn't help the sound that escaped me as my head flew back, something dark and primitive and wild. Clark watched me with awe. He hadn't known a man could sound like that. I had a lot to teach him. 

"Do you want me to make you sound like that, Clark? Do you want me to make you _scream_ with a pleasure you can't bear?" Looking into his eyes, I knew my own were bright with excitement. I had once seen myself in a mirror while in the throes of passion, and my eyes had been much bluer, almost electric with the energy racing through me. Clark's eyes were the same, glowing green almost as bright as meteor rock. At my words they flared impossibly brighter. 

"Lex, _God_ , your voice is almost more than I can bear!" I smiled wickedly. I'd been told before that my mouth was my greatest asset. I'd been most upset until they had explained what they meant. My voice, they had said, was pure sex. My words, arousing. And the other ways in which I could put my mouth to use, well, that was something different altogether. Having Clark admit its power, however, meant more to me that anyone else's admissions. 

"My voice turns you on, does it?" I deliberately changed my tone, all but purring into his ear. "What happens when I tell you that before long I'm going to be buried inside you, as deep as I can get, deeper that you would ever think I could go? What do you feel when I promise that you, with all your abilities, will be brought down by the power of what I, and only I, can do to you and make you do?" 

I could feel Clark growing longer, harder, against my stomach. I could feel the tremors shivering through him. He was just this side of losing control. "Lex." He panted, then again, " _Lex_." 

"Yes, Clark?" 

"I can't..." 

"Can't what, Clark?" 

"I can't stand this _aching_. _Please_ , Lex..." His eyes were starting to shine, and I knew I had pushed him as far as he could go, so I relented. 

"Okay, Clark. Okay." I crooned, then leaned down and kissed him softly. While I soothed him, I reached out to my bedside drawer and fumbled around in it. I found what I was searching for and dropped it on the bed beside us. One last time I drew back to look into his face. "Are you sure?" 

"Of course." He replied, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. Didn't he realise the enormity of what we were doing? Did he realise I could be arrested for this? Or run out of town? Or shot? Yes, I thought. Yes, he realised, but this was what he wanted, what we both wanted, so we'd deal with the rest only if we had to. The most important thing in our lives was this one defining moment. 

So I reached out, grabbed the bottle of lube I had tossed on the bed a minute ago and popped the lid. I saw comprehension dawn in Clark's eyes, and a slight blush worked its way across his cheeks. He was so beautiful, so innocent, that I had to smile. "You're going to be pleasantly surprised, Clark." I gently reassured him. Now I had the lube on my fingers, and I lowered my hand out of sight. I ran my fingers lightly over his balls, then the small stretch of sensitive skin, and finally teased around the puckered hole that was waiting for me. Clark trembled slightly. I eased the tip of my finger into him, and he took a deep breath, so I pushed a little further, until my whole finger lay inside him. Working him open, little by little, I gradually added another finger. He was still very tight, so I started scissoring him open a little more, until finally I could fit three fingers into him. Clark lay writhing on the bed, begging me to hurry. 

"Yes, Clark. Now you're ready. Relax for me, love." Quickly I poured some more lube on my hand and used it to slick my cock. It was the sweetest agony finally allowing myself to touch. I lined up with his now slick hole and stared into the brilliant green of his eyes as I slowly, slowly pushed into him. His moan was long and relieved. I waited only a moment before I drew back, making him whimper, then slammed home again. The shock of pleasure on his face may have been comical in other circumstances, but right now it was one of the most arousing things I had ever seen. I repeated my move, and he cried out my name. Showing him no mercy, I continued to thrust, hard and deep, but not quite what he needed. Suddenly, without warning, I changed the angle ever so slightly. Clark screamed, a sound as wild and desperate as any I had ever made, as I hit his prostate. Again and again I thrust against it. Clark was still screaming, words now, but not words I had ever heard, or could even understand. They were words that had no meaning except in the throes of passion. I decided I would tape him one day, just so he could hear how sexy he sounded growling so low in his throat. 

I felt the moment when Clark's orgasm struck. He went still, tense, and I heard my sheets rip in his hands. His body was arching up into mine and I gave one more tiny thrust, embedding myself as deep as I could possibly go. It pushed him over. Clark sounded like I had torn something out of him, something he had been battling to keep in. I thanked goodness that my room was sound-proofed. They would have heard him in the fields. 

I rode out the uncontrolled convulsions of his body, but I couldn't fight the contractions within him. Rhythmically he tightened and loosened around me, milking me for a response, a response that it was beyond my control to hold back. With a shout, both of ecstasy and of triumph, I came hard. 

Feeling suddenly boneless, and relaxed in a way I rarely ever was, I collapsed on top of him. He was still shaking in reaction, but he brought his arms up and around me, holding me close. I managed to let mine fall around him. I don't know how long we laid like that, but it was quite some time. Finally we gathered enough of our wits to converse. 

"Are you okay Clark?" I asked. It was a bit late to be asking now, but I hadn't been capable before. 

"Oh God, Lex. Yes, of course I am. That was incredible. Will it always be like that?" In that instant he sounded so very young, and I almost felt guilty for what we had done. Almost. 

"No, not always. Sometimes it will be desperate and quick, at others gentle and slow. I can be cruel, and I can make it hurt so good. Or I can be tender, and make you cry. It can be used to punish, or reward. It can make you scream, and make you sigh, and make you laugh. There are so many different ways it can be Clark. You'll want to experience them all." 

"Yes, Lex, but only with you. Always with you." 

"And you, Clark. I love you. There is no other for me." 

"I know. I've felt your love." 


End file.
